Individual Therapy and Couples Counselling
Helping people who feel stuck, anxious, or overwhelmed rediscover connection and direction
Life may feel harder to navigate, problem-solving that once came naturally may feel out of reach, and the inner compass you once trusted now seems clouded.
You may notice a growing disconnection, from both yourself and from others. Perhaps you long for more lightness, joy, and meaning, but do not know where to begin. Success in some parts of life might feel strangely out of balance with struggles in others, leaving you wondering why fulfilment feels so elusive.
Does life feel like it’s getting on top of you?
Perhaps you know the feeling of lying awake at night, your thoughts racing in circles. Sleep slips away, and the day begins before you’ve had a chance to rest. Life may feel drained of colour, as if you are moving through a fog of low motivation and clouded thinking. Even the smallest tasks can feel like climbing hills. You still manage to function and get things done, but only just. There may be a constant tightness in your chest or a heaviness in your shoulders, and no matter how much you try, you never seem to catch up.
You may also notice the same painful patterns repeating with those closest to you. Arguments that end where they began. The sense of being unseen or unheard. Difficult conversations feel like you’re walking on eggshells to avoid an escalation. Inside, a critical voice keeps whispering that you are failing somehow. You may find yourself comparing to others, doubting your own judgement, and struggling to trust yourself.
These experiences compound, and closeness can feel difficult to hold onto. Vulnerability can feel risky. At times, you may withdraw or shut down, even while longing for deeper intimacy and the reassurance of being truly met.
If any of this feels familiar, you are not alone. These experiences often represent different expressions of a deeper struggle with disconnection from oneself and from others.
Disconnection from self
Disconnection from yourself can feel like drifting without an anchor. Your own feelings, desires, or instincts become distant, drowned out by self-doubt or inner criticism. You may feel you are living someone else's life.
Disconnection from others
Disconnection from others can feel like being on the outside, even when you are close. The longing to be seen and understood meets fear, conversations falter, closeness slips away, and intimacy feels both illusive and overwhelming.
These are the struggles people often bring to therapy. They may be described in terms of anxiety, depression, stress, burnout, relationship conflict, self-esteem issues, or difficulties with intimacy. Therapy offers a space to pause, to be understood, and to begin reconnecting with yourself and with those who matter and gain both a clearer sense of the external pressures you are facing as well as internal barriers to change which may be keeping you stuck.
Therapy starts with a conversation
We’ll start with a conversation about what doesn’t feel right in your life, what you want to change, and what we can do to get you there.
My approach
Therapy: a space for support and growth
My approach is informed by Transactional Analysis Psychotherapy, which uses the Ego-State model as well as Life Script analysis to identify patterns in relating, thinking, feeling, and behaving. For couples I also draw on the Bader-Pearson Developmental model of Couplehood, which provides a framework for both assessing and diagnosing the stage of a relationship’s development, as well as treating relationship difficulties.
In addition to this, I am trained in a “relational model” of therapy, meaning I often share my own in-the-moment responses to what clients bring to therapy, rather than the “blank slate” approach used in some traditional talking therapies. This process can be very effective in uncovering recurring self-defeating patterns and opening the way for healthier, more fulfilling ways of relating.
These approaches all lend themselves well to providing both short-term symptom relief, and supporting longer-term depth work to address internal barriers to change. I do not use manualised therapy frameworks such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
Whether you're seeking support around intimacy, communication, conflict, coming out, mental health, or navigating wider social and systemic pressures, our work together will provide a space for healing, exploration, and growth.
Finding the right therapist
A strong therapeutic relationship is key to meaningful change. It’s important that you feel a sense of trust and safety, with space for that trust to grow over time. By reflecting on the process within our sessions, we can make adjustments as needed and strengthen the “working alliance”, creating a supportive and empathic space for the work to unfold.
While much of my experience is working with gay men, I work with clients of all identities and backgrounds. Having shared lived experience is not a guarantee of a good therapeutic relationship, and not all gay men share the same experience; sometimes “sameness” helps in the therapy room as there may be areas of your life you don’t want to explain, at other times you may want the “difference” of another perspective from someone with another experience to your own. This can also evolve during the course of the work.
In-person and Online
My practice rooms are located in southeast London, a short walk from Greenwich DLR station: Linear House, Peyton Place, London SE10 8RS. I both work in-person and online.
Location
Linear House, Peyton Place
Greenwich, London SE10 8RS
Contact
email
alex@alexvendittelli.com
phone
020 3825 1925
Banner image credit: Karsten Würth on Unsplash